Do you know what an exercise in futility is?
A job search.
After all this time spent searching for a job, I find myself wondering. Why do I even want to work in software development? It’s definitely not for the money, I don’t think anyone goes into software dev looking for the big bucks. At least, not here in WA. The mining jobs are far more lucrative in that sense. Although I hear that the mining companies are in a bit of a pinch lately with the prices of iron ores dropping nowadays. Just goes to show how overly dependent our state has been on iron ore exports. I’ve never really like the idea of being dependent on exporting a limited resource like iron ore anyway. Maybe it’s a good time for the country to stop being so dependent on such a limited resource. Well, I digress.
So, in the end, why do want to be a software dev? The conclusion I came to was that it was the thing that had the most utility in my life. As someone who sits in front of a computer for the majority of the day, I will inevitably run into things that I want to do, And software and code is what makes stuff happen on these computers. That means when there are things I want to do on a computer, interaction with code and software is almost certain.
So, why not just make working with code and software my job and profession? That way, when there are things I want to do in my personal, private time, I have experience I can bring in from my job.
Essentially, I was hoping that my professional experience was a software dev could help me in my other, personal endeavors.
At least, that was my original plan.
But over the last 2 years, I’ve realised just how truly unsuitable I am for being a software developer.
You know, when I was working on my personal projects, it was a struggle. But at the same time, when I got things to work, it was amazing. It felt like I had finally accomplished something in my life. Making something that no one else had, and something that had a real use. Although the target audience was very small, it was the thing I was the most proud of in my life.
Now, in hindsight, something like that was worth nothing. It means absolutely nothing in the face of professional experience. It is merely a small toy in the eyes of professionals.
It’s a bit… disheartening that the thing you are the most proud of being so insignificant to others. Well, at least the people I made it for actually appreciated it. Although those people are no longer around anymore. Since the whole project was based on a live service game, once the game got shutdown, the project I made also lost its purpose…
First Impressions of C# and ASP.NET
Alright, so I’ve been talking about it for a while, but I’ve finally actually touched C#. Well, more like just dipped my toes in, but it’s something at least, haha.
My first impression is that it’s almost exactly the same as Java. Honestly, that basic tutorial I went through for C# was pretty useless for someone who knows anything about programming and syntax. It was more suited for someone with zero knowledge on programming.
Next, I looked at ASP.NET for web development. The main reason for this is that since I’m mainly oriented towards web development, I figured looking at another web development framework would help me get the hang of things faster.
Anyway, to be quite frank, I’ll just say that I don’t really like C# and ASP.NET for web development. It feels… Very clunky and not very intuitive compared to frameworks like NextJS which is a framework for React. Maybe it’s just my inexperience that’s making me feel this way? Not sure, but we’ll see I guess.
Future Plans – Finance
I’ve also recently returned to study. I am currently majoring in finance. I suppose it’s quite a departure from my original career path, given that I had originally gotten a bachelor’s degree majoring in software engineering to be a software dev, but with the current state of affairs… I didn’t have much choice.
There are various reasons why I decided to go into finance. But… I’ll just say that I’m not planning to get a job in finance.
Rather than explaining myself, I’ll just list out some factors that influenced my decision.
- I absolutely hate, or rather, I abhor, the idea of “selling yourself” to get a job. I am willing to show you what I can do and what kind of person I am, but if you ask me what I can bring to your company, I have nothing to say.
- Given the point above and my personal deficiencies, it is almost impossible for me to get a job. Or more specifically, it is nearly impossible for me to be hired by anyone. Because to be quite frank, even I wouldn’t want to hire someone like me. While I know I am capable of completing my work and tasks, that’s because I know who I am, I have my entire life’s experiences as reference to support my belief, But that’s not something I can prove to others. And if I were hiring, I wouldn’t want to take the risk on someone that I’m uncertain about.
- Jobs in the construction industry such as labourers are an option as I don’t mind physical work. However, a long term career in this area my not be beneficial to my physical health. There is also greater risk of workplace injuries.
- The ultimate goal of a job is to earn money. However, being hired by someone is not the only way to earn money
- Starting a business was an option I considered, however, a business fundamentally requires solving a problem. But I currently do not have any ideas of problems I am able to solve. I suspect more life experiences could help in this area. But for now, this is not a viable option.
Other Thoughts
I’ve also been hearing news of Stable Diffusion 3 being announced recently, so that seems like something to look forward to. Interested to see how it performs when it’s finally released. And what the hardware requirements are, haha.
